Feb
22
2012

Some of the Prophet’s manners in his assemblies PBUH

In the Name of Allah the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

Dear brothers, we are tackling the Prophet’s attributes, and we will be talking today about his manners in his assemblies.

He used to remember Allah in all his conditions:

Allah the Almighty says:

(O you who believe! Remember Allah with much remembrance.)

[Al Ahzab, 41]

The Prophet PBUH said:

He who remembers Allah of much remembrance is free from hypocrisy

A believer should spontaneously remember Allah without pretending, and that is because all his/her activities and concerns are Allah’s acquaintance oriented.
One of us should observe the subjects he tackles with others when he is with a friend, on a visit or in his travels, as the most repeated subject that is spontaneously mentioned in his conversations, will be the subject that concerns him the most and occupies his soul.
In comparison, he who remembers Allah a lot spontaneously, without pretending, without seeking something in return, and without affectedness, and he who mentions Allah’s Ayat one time and His orders in another, and talks a lot about His messengers and His miracles, will be the person who is connected with Allah beyond any doubt. Hence, whatever occupies your soul and thoughts is your definition as a person, and accordingly, mentioning Allah a lot indicates His love. Allah the Almighty says:

(But those who believe, love Allah more (than anything else))

[Al Baqarah, 165]

The other important issue dear brothers is that when you talk about Allah the Almighty, you attract the hearts, gravitate the sights, and unite people you are addressing, whereas when you talk about worldly life, people will go in different directions, as the poor will be in uneasiness, the rich will be arrogant, the needy will be distressed and he who owns a lot in this worldly life will be supercilious, therefore, the worldly life separates people and the hereafter brings them together. Hence, if you want your assemblies to be fruitful, you should remember Allah the Almighty.
The Prophet PBUH said:

If a group of people sit together remembering Allah, the angels will surround them, the mercy will shroud them, the peace will descend unto them and Allah will remember them among those with Him

[Muslim]

And those who gather in an assembly and don’t remember Allah will be leaving that meeting with the smell of a donkey carrion (figuratively).
By Allah dear bothers, and I am not exaggerating , when believers involve in pleasant conversation, a picnic, or a convention and they mention Allah a lot, you should believe one of them if he says: “ It is as if we were in Paradise”, as he is not exaggerating. You should know for sure that every knowledge session, learning meeting, a conversation that is tackling Allah’s creation, the companions, or the Prophets, and any convention for the sake of drawing closer to Allah, but will fill the soul with happiness and ecstasy.

Whoever visits the sick will be getting closer to mercy till he sits, and when he does he will indulge in it

[Ahmad]

The Muslim believer is taken up with Allah’s remembrance in his house, work, travel, meetings, conferences and all his conversations.
The Prophet PBUH said in Qudsi Hadith (Divine Hadith) that Allah the Almighty says:

I am just as My slave thinks of Me when he remembers Me, and if he remembers Me when he is alone I remember him, and if he remembers Me among a group of people, I will remember him among better group than his, and he who comes closer to Me one span, I come closer to him a cubit; and he who comes closer to Me a cubit, I come closer to him a fathom; and if he comes to Me walking, I come to him running

[Al-Bukhari]

It is worthwhile that your fame will be raised high, your name will be well-known, and people will praise you, all of which are gained through being loyal to Allah. Therefore, make this religion on the top of your concerns, and remember that Allah gives to those who are occupied with His remembrance more than what He gives to those who ask him, and take the Prophet PBUH as an example, as he always mentioned Allah in all his conditions. The Prophet PBUH said:

I was instructed to reflect in my thoughts, to remember Allah in my words, and to cogitate through my perception

All the countless signs surrounding the human being remind him of Allah.
You can call people to reflect on the glass of water for hours, same goes with food and drink and all the boons Allah bestowed us.
The three Kilogram’s infant, who was nothing nine month ago but a drop of unseen water, has a brain, nerves, a liver, a spleen, a Pancreas, a pituitary gland, a thyroid gland, kidneys, veins, arteries, and a heart, etc…this infant is a full human being.
You are surrounded with many signs which indicate Allah’s Greatness, and he is free of hypocrisy who remembers Allah a lot. Actually, Allah’s enjoinment is not concentrating only on remembering. Allah the Almighty says:

(O you who believe! Remember Allah with much remembrance.)

[Al Ahzab, 41]

The Divine enjoinment is concentrating on the “much remembrance” rather than a mere remembrance.

No special places in his assemblies:

The places are for everyone, no special place for a particular person like when some say: this place is for such and such, that is because believers are equal and only the pious is the one who is closer to Allah, unlike the western countries customs, which we imitate, such like tagging the seats where people are going to sit according to their positions, with names on them to assure that certain people sit in the first row, and those in less positions sit in the second row and so froth. Islam’s teachings are opposite to this, as one should sit wherever is available for him in an assembly. If you don’t put some people in the first raw they will consider it as underestimating of their importance and some might swear not to attend again, well, this is against the Prophetic Sunnah as the Prophet PBUH himself used to sit wherever was available to him.
Moreover, when a Bedouin walked into the Prophet’s assembly PBUH, he was not unable to distinguish the Prophet among his companions, as it was narrated that he asked: Which one of you is Muhammad? The question to be asked here is: Where was the Prophet PBUH sitting? And this means that he didn’t have a huge seat or a huge cushion to sit on, and he didn’t have a special adorning cloth to put on. on the contrary, this question indicates that the Prophet PBUH was sitting on the floor with his companions with nothing special save his shining face, as the companions answered the Bedouin: Muhammad is the one with the shinning face PBUH, in addition, it indicates that the Prophet didn’t hear him or else he would have answered him by saying: “That will be me”. Therefore, we were instructed by the Prophet to sit wherever is available in any assembly we attend.
The companions were sitting once (honoring the comer to the assembly is a virtue of the sitting person), and the Prophet PBUH was sitting, and next to him was our Master Ali who stand up when Abu Bakr entered to give him his seat, so the prophet PBUH admired that act by saying:

No one knows the virtue of the virtuous more than the people of virtue

Hence, giving someone important your seat is a virtue, unlike the opposite situation when the important person insists to have a special seat which will be against Sunnah. You are important wherever you sit, as you are the one who gives importance to the seat not the opposite.

He used to give every companion his share of attention:

It is not an accepted manner to be in a meeting talking to two persons (who might be powerful or rich) and leaving the other ten aside without looking at them, without talking to them, and contemning any comment they make. It is a prophetic manner to give the same share of attention to all the people in the assembly by looking at them, smiling at them, and shaking hands with all of them, and this is applicable even if there were 2000 persons, and still every one of them might think that he is the closest to you due to the equality through which you treat all of them.
Jaber Ibn AbduAllah said: once Sa’d came in so the prophet PBUH said:

Here is my uncle, let everyone show me an uncle better than him

[At-Tirmizi]

Narrated Anas that the prophet PBUH said:

Each nation has a trustworthy, and the trustworthy of my nation is Abu Ubaida Ibn Al Jarrah

[Al-Bukhari]

And the Prophet PBUH said also:

Who bring me news from them (Ahzab’s day), Zubair said: I do, then the Prophet PBUH asked again: Who bring me news from them, Zubair said: I do, then the Prophet PBUH said “Every Prophet used to have a Hawari (i.e. disciple), and my Hawari is Az-Zubair bin Al-’Awwam

[Sahih Al-Bukhari]

The Prophet PBUH said:

Ever nation before you used to have a narrator and if my nation were to have a narrator, he will be Omar

[Bukhari]

Ibn Omar said:

One day the Prophet PBUH came out after sun rise and said:” I had a vision before dawn, as if I was given the keys and weights, as for the keys, here they are, and as for the weights, they are what you use to weigh with, they were put on one pan and my nation was weighed against them and they outweighed it, then Abu Bakr was put in the pan against them and he outweighed them, then Omar was put in the pan and he outweighed them, then Uthman was put in the pan and he outweighed them, then the weights were taken away

[Ahmad]

The Prophet PBUH had known each one of his companions in terms of loyalty, exalting, and how much close to Allah everyone of them was. He described each one of them of what he deserved without wronging or singling out any of them.
Usually, tyrants and powerful figures hate to be mentioned with someone else, assuming that the rest of people should be in the shadow and only they deserve to be in the spot light unlike the prophet PBUH.

He was the last to leave a conversation:

Brushing off people takes so many appearances such as moving a lot, standing up, looking repeatedly at the watch, going mute, fidgeting, or yawning, all of which mean “the meeting is over”.
The Prophet PBUH never broke a heart in his life time, and he was tolerant when having a conversation with someone till the other person left first satisfied and till he had got all his problems solved, and this is a Prophetic tolerance. I repeat saying the following: The Powerful people own the necks and the Prophets own the hearts, and there is a big difference between the two.

He never let down any person with a need:

It was hard for the Prophet PBUH to say “No” to anyone who needed help, he never let down any one in need. and that’s how every believer should be when he can’t help the person in need, in that case, he should say nice words instead like “sorry”, “don’t blame my helplessness”, and “I wish I could be of much help”, these kind of answers mend the heart of the person in need even though you couldn’t help him.
This is a critical issue, those who are close to Allah are the subject of people’s needs, and that is out of Allah’s love to them and it is an indication of their high position in the sight of Allah. While the minute Allah rejects someone, He makes people break away from him unlike the beloved person.
A brother I know, who performs lot of good deeds, told me that he received more than 50 phone calls in two hours all of which were asking him to solve their problems, and I said to him: May Allah bless you. Your motto should be “If Allah loves someone, He makes him the subject of needy people”, and Allah makes those as keys to the good, out of honoring them, unlike those who earn Allah’s wrath, as Allah makes them keys to evil.

He was large-hearted towards everyone:

If Allah wants to exalt someone, He makes him large-hearted towards people, like a father to them who treats them alike. But the selfish person lacks tolerance, he is self-centered, incomprehensive and can’t stand people.
The Prophet PBUH was large-hearted towards people and was like a father to his companions.
The lower descended level one goes, the fewer people he gets along with, and we should remember that partisanship indicates ignorance and distance from Allah. The more exalted one is, the larger heart he has that is able to embrace all people.
Our Master Hatib Bin Abi Balta’a committed the high treason, to which Omar’s response was severe, as he couldn’t tolerate his act:
Narrated ‘Ali, May Allah be pleased with him:

Allah’s Messenger sent me, with Abu Marthad and Az-Zubair, and all of us were riding horses, and said, “Go till you reach Raudat-Khakh where there is a pagan woman carrying a letter from Hatib bin Abi Balta’ a to the pagans of Mecca.” So we found her riding her camel at the place which Allah’s Messenger had mentioned. We said (to her),”(Give us) the letter.” She said, “I have no letter.” Then we made her camel kneel down and we searched her, but we found no letter. Then we said, “Allah’s Messenger had not told us a lie, certainly. Take out the letter, otherwise we will strip you naked.” When she saw that we were determined, she put her hand below her waist belt, for she had tied her cloak round her waist, and she took out the letter, and we brought her to Allah’s Messenger. Then ‘Umar said, “O Allah’s Messenger ! (This Hatib) has betrayed Allah, His Messenger and the believers! Let me cut off his neck!” The Prophet asked Hatib, “What made you do this?” Hatib said, “By Allah, I did not intend to give up my belief in Allah and His Messenger but I wanted to have some influence among the (Mecca) people so that through it, Allah might protect my family and property. There is none of your companions but has some of his relatives there through whom Allah protects his family and property.” The Prophet said, “He has spoken the truth; do no say to him but good.” ‘Umar said, “He as betrayed Allah, His Messenger and the faithful believers. Let me cut off his neck!” The Prophet said, “Is he not one of the Badr warriors? May be Allah looked at the Badr warriors and said, ‘Do whatever you like, as I have granted Paradise to you, or said, ‘I have forgiven you.”‘ On this, tears came out of Umar’s eyes, and he said, “Allah and His Messenger know better.”

[Bukhari]

The Prophet’s heart was big enough to tolerate any person, and we should be the same, and if you couldn’t tolerate others, then you are not cut out to guide them to Allah, and if you were narrow minded, then you are not cut out to be the gate through which people reach Allah. You should remember that the person in need is hasty, blind, he might be young or old, and he might be in pain or ill, for that the prophet PBUH said:

You won’t embrace people with your money so embrace them with your manners

When you don’t have money, then use your manners to embrace people, and in that case, your smile, your delightful face, your warm welcome, and your help to your fellow brother will be Sadaqa (good deed), unlike when you deal only with the rich and powerful people. Prophet Lut PBUH was mentioned in the Noble Quran saying:

(These (the girls of the nation) are my daughters (to marry lawfully), if you must act (so))

[Al Hijr, 71]

There is a reasonable explanation for this Ayah: Prophets are like fathers among their followers, hence, all women in Lut’s people were as daughters to our Master Lut PBUH, and he who has a big heart won’t treat other’s daughter with less attention than he will treat his own.
When you help your brother in his hardship, you will feel a burden removed off your shoulder.
You should see other’s problems as your own, problems like looking for a house or a job. I offered a rich man once an advice, when he expressed to me his intentions to sell his factory, because he got enough money and he doesn’t need work’s problems any more, I said: keeping your factory open even if it wasn’t bringing enough money, and helping in ensuring the sustenance of 80 families of the workers in that factory, could be your great deed in Allah’s Sight.

His assembly was of high knowledge, manners and tolerance:

Lot of unbelievable laughing, bad jokes, rough prank, referring to women, and mentioning private parts, all of which happen in some assemblies, but in comparison, look at the Prophet’s assembly PBUH, it was an assembly of knowledge, humbleness, modesty, and tolerance. It was just like food for thoughts where his companions respected the elder and acknowledged the young’s rights.
Once, the Prophet PBUH asked a child, who was sitting next to him, his permission to let him give something to another person before him, but the child said: By Allah, I will never give my right to anyone. This child knew that he had the right of attending before the others in this assembly; hence, we shouldn’t ask children to sit in back rows.
Therefore, the Prophet’s assemblies meant to be for knowledge, humbleness, and trustfulness, not to mention, that there wasn’t any shouting, lying, noises, bad mouthing, cheap joking, or scandals’ mentioning before the Prophet PBUH, as he would never let that happen due to his shyness.
The Prophet PBUH used to say:

Don’t abash people (till their faces turn red).

If he wanted to address some one who committed a mistake, he used to say: Why do some people do such and such?. We should learn how to advice people, so you shouldn’t abash someone and confront him, instead, talk in general, or draw examples and mention the mistake without naming him, and by this you avoid bashing and turning anyone’s face red.

He was cheerful, easygoing, and not rude nor criticizer:

Dear brothers, you may befriend someone for forty or fifty years without hearing any bad word from him or a bad joke or any mentioning of a private part, whereas, you might meet another one fifteen minutes ago and all his words are bad and he says very dirty jokes, there is a big difference between the two cases:

Usama-Ibnu-Zaid narrated when the Prophet PBUH asked him about what he did with the Kobtya (a thin dress), Usama said that he gave it to his wife to wear. Upon this the Prophet PBUH said: tell her to wear some lining underneath the Kobtya, for I fear that her curves may otherwise still be seen.

[Ahmad]

The Prophet PBUH wasn’t rude or boorish, why? Because this is a Divine law, Allah the Almighty says:

(And by the Mercy of Allah, you dealt with them gently)

[Al Imran, 159]

Because of the mercy in your heart (Muhammad PBUH) which is the outcome of your connection with Allah, you dealt with them gently, that means, being lenient is a requirement for being merciful, and if not for that mercy in your heart…

(And had you been severe and harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about you)

[Al Imran, 159]

The closer to Allah you are, the more merciful you will be, and people will surround you (out of their love for you), and the more distance from Allah you are, the harsher you will be, and your heart will turn into a stone with no mercy in it.
There are some people whose voices are very loud in public and with very bad mouth, unlike the way the Prophet PBUH was, as he used to speak with a low voice, never badmouthed anyone and never criticized food, while you see nowadays people who criticize anything, either the food, the house, or the car they ride, nothing is good enough for such people, unlike the Prophetic manners. The Prophet PBUH said:

If I am invited to a meal consisting of a sheep’s foot or shoulder, I would respond and I would accept as a gift a shoulder or a foot of a sheep.

[Al-Bukhari]

He used to respond to an invitation even if it was over a shoulder of a sheep.
Some people praise you till your face turns red, which is considered an unacceptable exaggeration, as this kind of acts (praising someone with attributes that he doesn’t have) will affect your image, yet, we should learn from the Prophet PBUH, who never over praised anyone and he used to overlook the food that he didn’t like to avoid criticizing it. If you find a hair in your plate, throw it away without giving any comments. We should remember as well that the prophet PBUH used to overlook any thing he didn’t like in food, he wasn’t rude, rough, blamer, criticizer, commender, nor was he much of jocular, as he was moderate in his pranks, just like salt, if you put too much in food it will spoil it.

He shied away from dispute, arguments, or minding other’s business:

We should follow the Prophet’s steps and manners.
Sometimes people repeat the same issue over and over, though you get it from the first time, and this is an annoying and boring manner. The Prophet PBUH, in that respect, shied away from dispute, argument, overacting, and he minded his own business.
Listen to this funny story about a student who studied Philosophy in one of the most important universities in the world, as he was sharing his father and mother dinner, where two chickens were on the table, he said to his shrewd father: I can convince you that what we have on the table are three chickens though they are two, only by a profound evidence, to which the father answered: “Yes of course, I will eat the first chicken, your mother will eat the second, and we will leave you the third”. Well, this is a dialectical argument that leads no where.
Consider the embarrassment you cause to the employee when you ask him how much his salary is, or when you ask someone (who might just has a fight with his wife and is heading to a restaurant to eat) where is he going, well, mind your own business.
The Prophet PBUH had never wronged, criticized, or tracked down others’ shortcomings. He tackled only what is beneficial to others, and his listeners used to lower down their heads out of his loftiness, as if there were birds standing on them, and when he went silent, they started talking. Nowadays, others sometimes interrupt you hundred times while you are speaking.
I was visited once by a man who stayed for two hours and kept talking all the time without letting me say a word, and then he asked my permission to leave so I let him.
The companions used to speak after the Prophet PBUH went silent, they never argued in his presence, nor did they quarrel in front of him, and one of them used to stop talking though his opponent was in front of him, and that was out their belief that if you wronged your brother in front of a third party (the Prophet PBUH in this case) then you are humiliating the latter.
The companions used to listen to any one who talked in the presence of the Prophet PBUH who also used to laugh at what made his companions laugh, as a kind of participation. A joke might make the attendants of a meeting laugh at, so if you don’t laugh, you will be letting them down, so, out of courtesy, it is ok to laugh at what makes them laugh and wonder about what makes them wonder.

He was tolerant towards stranger’s avoidance:

A stranger might sometimes talk harshly, or may grab you from your hand, that is possible to happen, in this case you should be tolerant exactly like our Prophet PBUH whom was grabbed from his garment by a Bedouin to the point that it caused a graze on his noble cheek, in return, the Prophet PBUH smiled only:
It was narrated by Anas Bin Malek, he said:

Once a Bedouin came to him (i.e., the Prophet) and roughly grabbed his garment (a Najranee cloth) to the point that it caused a graze and said: “O Muhammad! Give instructions so that I would get some of the wealth of Allah that you have with you (in the Muslim treasury).” All that the Prophet did was smile and then he commanded the person in charge (of the treasury) to confer him from the reserve.

[Bukhari]

The Prophet PBUH used to say:

If you run into a need seeker, you should aid him

He never accepted compliments but from those close to him:

You shouldn’t accept a compliment from anyone, as this person could be a silly fellow who shoots from the hip, but the person, whose compliment is accepted, should be close to you, and in this case his compliment is called “tribute”, whereas in the first case it is called “disdain”.

He never interrupted his speaker:

The Prophet PBUH never interrupted his speaker whoever he was, and as a matter of fact, most speakers are good conversationalist, but only few are good listeners and the latter condition indicates a good manner.
The Prophet’s silent PBUH was in four conditions, either he went silent out of tolerance (if his speaker was harsh), out of caution (as he who speaks a lot, wrongs a lot), out of projection (while trying to consider a situation for example), or out of reflection. The Prophet PBUH was gifted with tolerance and endurance, as nothing could ever get him angry or could provoke him, hence, he was like a lofty deep-rooted mountain, while you may see a person like a boat that could be capsized by any wave, so either you are like a big ship in the sea, no one can provoke you or get you angry, or like a small boat, and a small creature who is able to be provoked by anything or anybody.
The Prophet PBUH used to hold on to good manners so people will follow him, and he used to leave bad manners so people won’t acquire them.
The Prophet PBUH combined the goodness of this worldly life and that of the hereafter, and he guided his companions to the benefit of this life, to good deeds, to righteousness, and to the goodness of the hereafter.

Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds

Translation :Noora Al Sharabi
Auditing :Rana Saraqbi

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