Jul
1
2012

The civilized concept of success

In the Name of Allah the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

Success should be in all aspects of life:

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Success can’t be taken into account if it is partial, rather it should be inclusive. The utmost problem I happen to see through the years of proselytizing is that someone might be very successful in the mosque or at work, yet, he is not successful as a husband. Another one might be a top notch husband, yet, at work he is not. Someone else might be good at his work and as a husband, yet, he doesn’t have a successful relation with Allah, and so forth. Hence, to define success within the perspective of civilization, I would say that success won’t count unless it is inclusive, and unless you were successful in your connection with Allah, with your wife and kids, with your family, at work, and in your health, otherwise, any lack of any of these items will negatively affect the rest of the items, and this is the facts of matter.
Being morose at home and having bad connection with Allah is a punishment from Allah, and in such cases you will lose the respect of your wife, and she might cross the line and insult you, to which you respond with harshness, so eventually she will leave home to her family house, and as a result the house will be disturbed, you will be upset at work, the kids will lose their mother, no food in the house, no care taking, and you won’t be normal at work. This sequence of events starts with a bad connection with Allah, and ends up affecting your family, your work and your health.
On the other hand, if you start caring less about your health through eating everything regardless food quality, this will reflect on your Salat, as you will find it hard to perform prayers, and you will end up in the maze of medications that is prior and after meals and so forth. Therefore, in this case you start with neglecting your health and you end up affecting your connection with Allah.

Constituents of success in life:

Believe it or not, the real success is the inclusive one

1- Success in one’s relation with Allah:

Success is fulfilled when you are dutiful towards your Lord (Allah), and you should remember that there are acts of worship through the day that is not accepted by Allah at night, and there are acts of worship at night that are not accepted by Allah through the day.

1- Finding answers to your doubts:

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You should start fixing your relation with Allah, and find answers for all the doubts you might have, such like: Why did Allah create people like that? Where is Allah? Why are Muslims in hardship suffering earthquakes, floods, and civil wars? Whereas Atheist countries are in prosperity, this is another doubt one might have. If you ask scholars they will give you a marvelous answer that goes as follows:
Suppose, by way of example, that we have two patients, the first one is suffering from curable gastritis, so, though the doctor is merciful, yet he goes rigid on him, preventing all kinds of food that will hurt his stomach and asking him to drink milk, why is he doing so? That is because this gastritis is curable and the doctor is acting for the best interest of this patient by asking him to follow special diet in order to treat him. Whereas the second patient has a spread cancerous tumor in his intestine and has only one month to live, so when he asks that same doctor: what should I eat? The doctor will say to him: Eat whatever you like.

(So, when they forgot (the warning) with which they had been reminded, We opened to them the gates of every (pleasant) thing, until in the midst of their enjoyment in that which they were given, all of a sudden, We took them to punishment, and lo!)

[Al-An’am, 44]

Find answers for your doubts like: How come Allah the Almighty know? Why did He create the Kafer since Allah knows that he will be a kafer (atheist)?

(So ask of those who know the Scripture [learned men of the Taurat (Torah) and the Injeel (Gospel)], if you know not)

[Al-Nahl, 43]

Find answers for your doubts, as Allah will test you with hardship.

2- Fulfilling your desires in Halal ways:

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In regard of desires: Every desire Allah installed in man but has Halal way to be fulfilled through, as there is no deprivation in Islam, like when you long for a woman, simply get married, the Prophet PBUH said:



Allah’s help is granted to three people: the one who strives in the cause of Allah, the debtor who contracts his debt in order to pay it back, and the one who is seeking marriage in order to be chaste

[Tirmizi, by Abu Huraira]

I am addressing the youth: Ask Allah for chastity, and invoke Him saying: O, Lord, grant me a pious wife, whom by looking at I will be pleased, she will honor me in my absence, and she will obey me when I order her.
Lower your gaze, as lowering your gaze is like saving money in a piggy bank, and the more you lower your gaze towards women, the more gold dollars you are saving, and this piggy bank will be opened on your wedding day, as Allah will reward you for being pious in your behavior before marriage (Allah will bless you with a happy married life). But be ware that lowering your gaze is not just before marriage, and it is not to be rewarded by a pious wife who is considered as worldly life paradise, but it is required after marriage either.

(Our Lord! Give us in this world that which is good and in the Hereafter that which is good)

[Al-Baqarah, 201]

And “good” in worldly life is the pious wife. This is the interpretation of this Ayah:

(Our Lord! Give us in this world that which is good and in the Hereafter that which is good)

The pious wife by definition is the one whom by looking at you will be pleased, she will honor you in your absence, and she will obey you when you order her.

2- Success in one’s relation with his wife:

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You should at least treat your wife the way you treat people around you, namely, why are you so keen on your reputation, you apologize to a person if you wronged him, you give him a gift as reconciliation, or you say sorry when you harshly treats him. Why are you righteous with all the people around you, but very cruel with your wife, your life partner ? As you never apologize to her, and you mock her and her family, and this kind of behavior will make her hate you, won’t respond to you, and there will be no more love between you and her.

…and a good word is charity

[Agreed upon]

Keep in mind, that your wife will serve you a hundred times more with pleasure when you say to her when you come home: May Allah give you health and I am so happy to have you as a wife.
Your relation with your wife is another constituent of your success in life, she has her dignity, and she has a family, as you shouldn’t discriminate by being good to your mother but not to hers, why do you get furiously angry if your wife speaks against your mother, while you speak against her mother?!! This is an act of partiality, because both of them are not sinless, instead, you should respect her and her mother and father, and you should remember that those parents are the people who reared her, educated her, raised her on noble morals, she doesn’t bad mouth anyone, and after that her parents gave her to you as a gift, but what have you done in return? You are hurting them by hurting their daughter, these are acts of monsters.

(hard and distressful)

[Al-Insan, 10]

Your son has no one else to turn to except you, has he? I want you to turn your house into paradise, and believe me this has nothing to do with how big it is, and it has nothing to do with the quality of food or cloth, but it has to do with love which is needed, and it has to do with mending your relation with Allah, and fixing your relation with your wife and children.

3- Success at his work:

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You as a believer have a certain personality and position, so you shouldn’t be tardy, like running late for a whole hour, because this will make your manager offend you by saying in front of your students if you were a teacher for example: “how careless you are? How negligent you are?” In that case, you will lose all your position and loftiness (in the sight of your students) because you were tardy, and the principal has all the right to say what he said, as your students need you to teach them, so when something like this happens at your work, your relation with Allah will be affected, so you might skip praying Zuhur because you are upset and humiliated by the principal, not to mention that you will go home frowning. Therefore, be punctual in your appointments, manage your time and errands, and fulfill your duties. This will grant you comfort at your work, in your house, and your position and loftiness will be saved

4- Success in health:

You should watch what you eat, and you should work out, and remember that we make use of only ten percent of what we eat to keep us alive, and the rest will keep the doctors alive.
Do you know what is ghee, you are using for food, is made of? You should know that nutrition techniques are so advanced that they can use all the remains in the butchery such like the eyes, the horns, the intestine and so forth, and they use them all to make ghee, and it is introduced to you as butter of the best quality. Did you educate your self in regard of nutrition? There should be a health guidance book in every house in order to gain nutritional knowledge. You should know that healthy food is not expensive while bad harmful food is very expensive.

Eating much sweeps away prudence

[Tabarani, by Ibn Abbas]

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Watch what you eat, and resort to dairy products, fruit, and healthy food, and we are blessed with drinkable tap water back in Damascus, which is rarely to be found in the five continents.
You should know all about what you eat, the nutrition you should have, and the bad food you should avoid like salt and cancerous food.
Some western industries, and out of malice, put a substance in the drinks causes addiction to the one who drinks it, and as a result, drinking much of these soft drinks will make your children addict to it, so instead of bringing these kinds of drinks, encourage your kids to drink lemonade, yogurt or any natural drink.
I don’t want to go into the details of this matter, but I suggest that there should be a health guidance book in every house to tell you what to eat, what to drink, what to avoid, what hurts the stomach, what hurts the intestine, and what hurts the heart.
There should be a minimum level of health awareness in every house.

Conclusion

Success never counts unless it is inclusive.
When someone accepts to work for a whole year out of his country for a salary as double as his salary inside his country, he will be losing his wife and kids in this entire year, as there is no one to rear the kids and look after the wife. Does it worth it to work in a foreign country and your wife sins in your absence, what did you gain? Nothing!
Your success should be inclusive and should include your relation with Allah, your relation with your family and children, your relation with your work, and your relation with your health, and this is the real triumph.

Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds

Prepared by: Noora Al Sharabi

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