Jun
2
2013

The prophet’s marriage to Khadijah

In the Name of Allah the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

Islam is a religion of the Innate:

Honorable brothers, we shall go on with a new lesson of the prophetic biography, its going to be about his (PBUH) marriage to Mrs. Khadigah.
At the very beginning, the Prophet (PBUH) said:

I am the most fearing Allah person amongst you, yet I sleep and pray [before dawn], I eat [sometimes] and fast [other times], and marry women.
This is my Sunnah [way of living], so he who does otherwise [or exceeds in his religious practice] is not one of my nation

[Documented by Ahmad, from both Bukhari and Muslem]

Hence, Islam is the religion of Innate.
Allah the Almighty says:

(And among His signs is the creation of heavens and the earth)

[Surat Ar-rum - verse:22]

(And from among His Sign are the night and the day)

[Surat fussilat-verse:37]

One of His verses that shows His Greatness:

(And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He put between you affection and mercy, Verily, in that are indeed sings for a people who reflect)

[Surat Ar-rum-verse:21]

The Prophet (PBUH) came with a religion of the innate, he is our perfect model, our great religion[Islam] gathers between the needs and the values of mankind, i.e. interest with principle at the same time.

What the prophet was doing before the revelation?

The Prophet (PBUH) was one of those who were pointed out by finger as a good example, while youngsters mostly had gone astray from the orders of Allah, they are lost, either pretending to become, as they imagine, something attractive to girls, or they use excessive force [to show off their toughness], but the Prophet (PBUH) was at a much higher level than that.

(While he was in the highest part of the horizon)

[Surat:An-najm- verse:7]

He (PBUH) was carrying the burden and the worries of all mankind; He was seeking salvation for them for he saw paradoxes, weakness and oppression in most of who surrounded him. The Prophet (PBUH) was an exceptional young man; this was before he started receiving revelation.

What is the importance of Mrs Khadija for the prophet?

Dear brothers, got married to Mrs. Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) who was unlike other women.
It has been said:

Many men had become perfectionists, but only four women had reached perfection. One of them is Mrs. Khadijah

[Mentioned in the tradition]

Honorable brothers, if you read the biography of Mrs. Khaijah, you would find her as the best lady in terms of loyalty to her husband, therefore; when Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was victorious in Makkeh after twenty years of conflict with the disbelievers he said: “pitch a tent for me by Khdijah’s grave” even though many people in Makkah invited him to stay in there houses.
He stuck up the banner of triumph before her grave, so the whole world would know that the lady in this grave is His (PBUH) partner in this victory.
She was His (PBUH) inner support.
As a matter of fact, the greatest kind of women, pay attention to what I am going to say, are the ones who add, in addition to their beauty, the beauty of moralities, yet there is a third kind which is the beauty of reason.
If three types are found in one woman, in appearance, in moralities and in reason; then she is one of a kind.
As you know brothers women are exactly equal to men in terms of assignment, honoring and responsibilities.
Dear brothers, some scholars say: Great men are badly in need of great women, the Prophet (PBUH) said:

Women are sisters of men

[narratted by Ahmad, Abu Dawood and Termethi reported Aisha, narratted bazzar reported Anas]

This woman that you have in your house is your sister; this means that you have to be integrated with her.
Such kind is considered to be an inner support for great men.
Verily; he is absolutely right the one who said that behind every great man there is a supporting great woman.
Khdijah Bint Khuwiled was a merchant lady of honor and wealth, she used to assign men and become a partner with them in her merchandise; speaking of which, it is the clean and clear method of investment.
The need of investment is essential in all mankind society, for there are elders, retied employees, there are underage children who inherited money, there are widows or women who can not enroll in business, so a young man, who reached the age of manhood and well experienced in business; invests the money sharing the owner with the profit they make.
This is such a clean; secure method of money investment, however; those who gathered their wealth and were not at the expected level of knowledge [of what is allowed and what is prohibited i.e. usury] they have weaken people’s confidence in the legal clean method of making business; on the other hand they strengthen people’s confidence in banks that deal with usury.
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was the first speculator partner in Islam; it was khadija’s money and the Prophet’s (PBUH) effort prior receiving revelation.
When Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her) knew about the prophet’s (PBUH) trustworthiness, decency and high morals, she had an ambition to work with him. She used to give him the best she gave to other merchants.
However; the Prophet (PBUH)said:

“Trustworthiness it self is a wealth” [in a sense that you don’t need other's possessions]

[Narrated by Alqudai reported Anaas]

The most precious thing anyone possesses is being trustworthy; through it she/he has the biggest fortune on earth ; people’s trust.
The straightness and the honesty, the trustworthiness and the piety, the chastity of the Prophet (PBUH) made Mrs. Khedijeh aspired to have this young man as her partner in business, and she speculated with him (PBUH) in many of business journeys.
The most important one was when the prophet (PBUH) went to Damascus with her slave Maysara. It was a success for the Prophet (PBUH), the profit was doubled which made Mrs. Khadijeh very pleased when they got back home.

Khadijah wanted to take the prophet as a husband:

This solemn lady who is one of the most elevated families of Mekkeh became ambitious to get married to our mater Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), so she sent a woman called Nafisa, who told Him:
What prevents you from getting married?
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) who was 25 years old back then; said:
I have nothing to get married with ( i.e. he had no money then to pay for a woman’s dower).
She said: what if you were spared all that and invited to become in matrimony with a beautiful, wealthy, noble and competent lady?
She added then: wouldn’t you accept?
The prophet (PBUH) said: who is that lady?
She said:
Khdijeh
The Prophet said: How could that be possible?
She said: leave it to me.
That was the start.
It has been reported that the holy prophet- PBUH- has said: “If someone made an effort for a couple to get married, she/he shall be rewarded with every single word she/he said and every taken step the reward of a whole year’s worshipping including day fasting and night praying.
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said:

There is no better intercession than that of who intercedes between a couple to get married

[Documented by Ibn Majah from Abi Rahm]

This unique woman has contributed in narrowing the gap between Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and Mrs. Khadijeh, but the unusual matter in this case is that the lady proposed to marry the Prophet (PBUH)
When Nafisah told Mrs. Khdijeh that the road is paved to get married to Him (PBUH), as we say she was given the green light, she went to the Prophet (PBUH) and told him: “O cousin, I had a desire in you for the honor that you have among your people and for the trustworthiness, high manners and honesty of your talk that you possess in your character.” Then she offered her self for marriage.
However our tradition prevents the girl to propose to a young man for her modesty, it also prevents a father from offering his daughter to a young man he thinks he [the man] is good and sufficient for his daughter. But our master Shuaiab (PBUH said:

(He said: “I intend to wed one of these two daughters of mine to you, on condition that you serve me for eight years)

[Surat Alqsas- verse:27]

Therefore when the Prophet (PBUH) was offered to marry Mrs. Khadijeh by Nafisa at first, then by Khadijeh directly for the second time, He (PBUH) accepted the proposal. As it has been said Mrs. Khadijeh was of a medium descent amongst women, and the greatest in honor and wealth of them, in fact all her kin men were keen to maintain such an opportunity if they had been able to do so.
Dear brothers, the Prophet consulted his uncles- expressing his desire,as he received such tempting offer, at first from Nafisa then from Mrs. Khadijeh.
His uncles complied unhesitatingly to his wish, Abu Taleb, Hamzeh and others went to Mrs. Kadijeh’s uncle Omar Bin Assad (her father died in AlFujar battle) they proposed for his niece’s hand to the prophet (PBUH) taking with them twenty she-camels.
She was the first lady that he Prophet (PBUH) married; he didn’t marry another one till she died.
It is narrated the Abu Taleb addressed a speech in the prophet’s wedding ceremony saying:

If ever Mohammad is counterpoised to any Kuriashi young man [the tribe that the Prophet (PBUH) belongs to], he records a greater honor, nobility and reasoning. However he lacks money; which is evanescent and a returnable deposit. He wishes to marry Khadijeh and she shares the same towards him

Mrs. Khadijeh’s uncle Omar said: “He is undoubtedly the man of whom no one can question his manhood”
The Prophet (PBUH) married Mrs. Khadijeh at the age of 25 she was 40 years then, the wedding was attended by the folks of Hashem, and leaders of Moudar tribe [renowned families and tribes at that time] and that was after two months the Prophet’s (PBUH) return form his business journey from Damascus.
The whole thing started as business but ended up in marriage. A believer must be wise, i.e. if she/he had an opportunity, should not miss it.

The family of the prophet:

The Prophet (PBUH) lived with Mrs. Khadijeh till she died at the age of 65, so he spent almost quarter of a century with her, she was at his mother’s age,
Mrs. Khadijeh gave birth to Al-Kasem, so the Prophet is called Aba Al- Kasem, then,she gave birth to Zainab, Um Kulthum, Fatimah, and Rukiyah as narrated in Tabarani and Muujam Al Kabir, then Abdullah Titled Attayyeb or Ataher.
Al-Kasem and Abdullah died before Islam, Al Kasem died after he got old enough to ride a mule, Abdullah died when he was little, the girls lived till Islam so they all become Muslims and migrated to Al-Madinah, they all died while the Prophet-PBUH was alive; apart from Fatimah she died 6 months after him.

The wisdom of the circumstances of the prophet’s life:

Someone may ask: his father died before he knew him or even was born, his mother died when he was 6 years old, his grandfather died when he was 8 years old, all his daughters died except Fatimah during his life-time, both of his sons Abdullah and Kasem before Islam, no one left of his offspring apart from Faimah, even his son Ibrahim from Maria the Quptic died.
There must be a very wise reason for all that, doubtless; there is a great wisdom that he has no son [stayed alive] of his offspring.
Think deeply and make researches about that; if this honorable Prophet (PBUH) had a great father to whom his (PBUH) virtues and merits were attributed, as if this may cancel the prophecy.
If he (PBUH) had a wise and a judicious mother then his (PBUH) virtues would have been attributed to her as well.
Therefore; Allah’s Will, exalted He, made all the virtues he (PBUH) holds due to his closeness to Allah The Almighty.
Hence; it is among wisdom that he didn’t know his father, nor did his mother [lived long enough] contribute to raising him up, he (PBUH) was an orphan as though this great man is an example for every orphan; who sometimes might be brokenhearted though; he has the master of all prophets -PBUT who is such a good example as an orphan.
On the other hand; if one of his (PBUH) sons lived after him, he would have an offspring who all belong to him (PBUH), his son wouldn’t be infallible [who may do someone wrong], then abhorrence might reach to his father (PBUH).
This can be deduced from the Prophet’s (PBUH) talk to Suliman Al-Farisi [a Persian companion (may Allah be pleased with him) who was seeking the true authentic religion to embrace other than worshiping fire in his own country]:

O Suleiman, do not detest me thus you shall become no Muslim anymore, I said: how do I detest you and through you Allah has guided us, o the messenger of Allah?
He (PBUH) said: you detest Arabs that’s how you detest me

[narrated Ttermithi reported Suleiman]

It is extremely wise; it is my personal opinion of course, that the Prophet (PBUH) did not have an offspring of males after him.

Khadijah is the ambassador of honesty in Islam:

Mrs. Khadijeh was the best example of all women in the world. She consoled him and gave him all the tenderness, sympathy, support and money that he needed.
As a matter of fact, she (Khadijeh) stood by him in his worst adversities, she was as I mentioned earlier his inner support.
The Prophet (PBUH) said:

The best woman of the whole world is Maryam Bent Imrran [Mary Chist's (PBUH) mother], and the best woman of whole world is Khadijeh Bent Khuailed.. [Bent in this context means daughter of]

[Bukhari and Muslim]

This lady is the best in the whole world, but please pay attention to what the Prophet (PBUH) said when he received the revelation:

Cover me up, cover me up [he was extremely terrified then]

[Narrated Muslem reported Jaber (may Allah be pleased with him)]

She told him: “I swear by Allah; He would never let you down”
How did she know that?
She said: “for you are in touch with your kinfolks, you carry the fatigued and give earnings to the destitute, you are hospitable, and you are a great support during disasters”
She deduced that innately; therefore my discourse is addressed to those young men and ladies.
A word to young people:

(Or do those who earn evil deeds think that We shall hold them equal with those who believe (in the oneness of Allah-Islamic Monotheism) and do righteous good deeds, in their present life and after death?Worst is the judgment they make)

[Surat Aljathiyah-verse: 21]

(Is then he who believes like him who is a Fasiq (disbeliever and disobedient to Allah)? Not equal are they)

[Surat Assajdah-verse: 18]

(Shall We then treat the Muslems (believers of Islamic monotheism, doers of righteous deeds) like the Mujrimun (criminals, polytheists and disbelievers, etc.)? what the matter with you? How judge you?)

[Surat Alqalam verses: 36/37]

(Is he whom We have promised an excellent promise (paradise)-which he will find true-like him whom We have made to enjoy luxuries of life of( this) world, then on the Day of Resurrection, he will be among those brought up (to be punished in the Hell-fire)?)

[Surat Alqasas verse: 61]

Please pay close attention to what has been said. O you repentant youth shan’t be treated badly; for the repentant youth is the most beloved to Allah, as He boasts of them before His angles saying: Look at My slave, who abandoned his desire for My sake. So; who walks on the right path shall get a reward in this life and in the hereafter, the proof is:

(But for him who fears the standing before his Lord, there will be two Gardens (i.e. in Paradise))

[Surat Arahmman verse:46]

Scholars of [Quranic] interpretation said: One paradise meant to be in this life and the other one is meant to be in the hereafter.

Let husbands be like this:

Dear brothers, the Prophet (PBUH) was the most faithful husband to his wife Khadijeh, when she died; he used to send meat whenever he slaughters a sheep to her friends, and praised her a lot as he mentioned her, and he was faithful to her even after she died.
A man ; whose his parents died asked the Prophet (PBUH): How can I be devoted to them (after their death)?

The Prophet (PBUH) said: “pray and supplicate for them.

My point in this regard is- to be in touch with their friends and to visit the kinwoman/man that had no relatives but them, and to carry out what you have pledged them, so among the completion of devotion to stay in touch with your parents friends. Our master Muhammad (PBUH) kept his connection with Mrs. Khadijeh’s friends by sending them chops of meet to get closer to them and to the keep her pledge.

In another narration A’isha says: “I did not feel jealous of any of the Prophet’s (PBUH) wives as much as I did about Khadijeh, though I have never seen her, but the Prophet (PBUH) used to mention her a lot, even if he slaughtered a goat he sent chops to her friends

[Al-Bukhari narrated]

Reported A’isha (may Allah be pleased with her) saying:

I did not feel jealous of any of the Prophet’s (PBUH) wife as much as I felt so of Khadijeh whenever he mentioned her, even though she died before he married me. Allah had ordered him to augur her of a house made of gold [in paradise]

this is a well omen from Allah directly to this lady.
Honorable brothers; the door of heroism is widely open for you, the God of the Prophet (PBUH) companions’ is ours as well; the circumstances are the same, anyone can be a hero.
In another narration A’isha says:

I did not feel jealous of any of the Prophet’s (PBUH) wives as much as I did about Khadijeh, though I have never seen her, but the Prophet (PBUH) used to mention her a lot, even if he slaughtered a goat he sent chops to her friends

I may have said once out of my uneasiness: as if there is no other woman in this world but Khdijeh. He said: She was so and so and so…, and she gave birth to my children.”
He (PBUH) said once:

She believed in me when others did not, and believed me while others falsified me [in the Islamic revelation], she supported me with her money when others did deprive me, and Allah had given me her child, but deprived me of other women’s children

[Narrated By Ahmad reported A'isha (may Allah be pleased with her)]

Dear brothers, one of the most fascinating sayings of the Prophet (PBUH) is that:

To Allah is all the praises that He bestowed me the love of Khdijeh

He (PBUH) considered her love as gift; dear bothers I would like to talk about a very important point, it is up to you to create love at your home, by being faithful, generous and merciful, your wife will love you without boundaries, thus you shall get the fruitful result.
But as we produce hatred, negligence, disrespect, sometimes deprivation, humiliation, irony and not paying attention [no comment], then detestation is what we shall come up with.
Mrs. A’isha used to ask the Prophet (PBUH) about his love [and feeling] towards her, he comforted her by saying: as the rope’s knot.
She used to ask him from time to time: how is the knot?
He says: as it is.
Once she told him about the love, devotion and generosity of Abi Zare to Um Zare [a husband and his wife]; who at last divorced his beloved wife,
The Prophet (PBUH) said:

I am to you as Abi Zare to his wife, but I won’t divorce you as Abi Zare did at the end

Let’s learn from the master of messengers these virtues of high standards and such fine conduct.

The moral characteristics of Mrs. Khadijah:

Dear brothers, this woman (Khadijeh) did not tale part with her people in their leisure, nor fornication or primping, but she devoted her self to her business with out getting mingled with men.
She was the top lady, who was never know of making up nor mixing with men, her personality was represented in her up-straight innate.
Mrs. Kahdijeh consoled her husband and stood by him in his tough days and worst nights; she never looked down at him due to her wealth.
Honorable brothers, I think that Mrs. Khadijeh (may Allah be pleased with her), a gift from Allah to the Prophet, is on top of perfection, and such a good example for Muslim wives, so we aught to read her biography in order to know her perfection in treating her husband, in addition we aught to know the perfection of the Prophet’s (PBUH) perfection in his faithfulness and appreciation to her. Allah exalted he is says:

(And of them there are some who say: “Our Lord! Give us in this world that which is good and in the Hereafter that which is good. And save us from the torment of the Fire!)

[Surat Al baqarah-verse; 201]

Scholars of interpretation said:

the righteous woman is the good [from Allah] in this life, she pleases her husband whenever he looks at her, and preserves his money and her self [her honor] when he is away, therefore you (men) aught to marry committed ladies to their religion

Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds

Prepared by: Noora Al Sharabi

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